I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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