those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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