So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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