I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
