apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
