she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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