sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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