so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
