fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
