I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
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So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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