i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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