i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
