you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize