Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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