4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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