So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
