Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
