Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
