Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm always down for nudity.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
