Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
