I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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