Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
