Acid is not a monday night drug
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
