don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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