ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
