Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
