Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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