Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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