But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
