p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
