i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize