Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
