Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
