Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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