I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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