Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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