Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize