two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
