I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
