Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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