I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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