Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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