he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
