Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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