dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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