I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
