Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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