even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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