He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
