nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize