he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
