they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
