Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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