I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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