ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
