i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
