I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
did i just pee glitter
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