awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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