he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
