Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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