He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
